The Dreaded Word: Metastasis

March 15, 2016
Hi friends, I wanted to let you know that I was informed last week that my breast cancer metastasized to the lymph node in my armpit. I had a Pet Scan and lab work on Monday and I will see my oncologist on Thursday when the results are in. I am not sure what is going to happen now. We are scheduled to move this summer. It could be a great move with better treatment options, but at this time, I don’t know the extent of the spread. It could just be one lymph node, but the Pet Scan will determine if it has spread throughout my body to other places. If it’s greater than 1 cm, it will be detected. If it’s smaller than 1 cm, it won’t show up. This is what happened last June. I actually had the Breast cancer as diagnosed on my biopsy results, but it was never seen on the PET scan.
We are in a state of shock because my labs look wonderful, I feel great, and this is the first winter in years I’ve not been sick. I have more energy and stamina, yet somehow one rogue cell most have broken loose and traveled elsewhere. I’ve obviously used the information from studying a lot of literature to boost my immune system but the cancer still spread. The primary reason I chose not to do the chemo was because my immune system was so depleted. I truly believed that I would have suffered worse with the chemo at the time, and I was not being offered IV fluids with minerals and vitamins. I did inquire but was told , “You aren’t bad enough to warrant that type of therapy.” Also, I had two friends recently pass away, and they did all that the doctors told them to do with chemo and radiation. They had similar breast cancers but they had only done the conventional treatment and not tried the alternatives.
The lab report stated that the lymph node cancer was metastatic not innate lymph node cells. In other words other cancer cells likely from the breast moved, relocated, and settled in the lymph node. I’m not in any pain. I actually felt a lump in January, had it checked and had an ultrasound performed. The radiologist looked us in the eyes and told us that it looked benign. He said if it were any other patient he would not even suggest a biopsy. Because of my history he recommended it and low and behold, here we are. He and the technician said that the colors on the ultrasound were blue as opposed to red, indicating cancer. It looked like nothing, but to be sure , he said, “Let’s put this to rest.” It made me think of others who are told, “Oh, it’s benign”.
I don’t regret doing what I’ve done thus far. My overall health is better than it’s ever been, which is why this is so ironic.
Please pray for us as we try to make wise decisions. Jamie and I are both overwhelmed, deeply saddened by this news, and just feel an overwhelming sense of loss. I can honestly say I did all the right things, no sugar, no meat, tons of vitamins and quality supplements, etc and I didn’t cheat on my healthy diet. …I exercised and juiced, took care of my skin, allowed my body to heal from all the surgeries and procedures after the original lumpectomy. I’ve had seven procedures since last April that required anesthesia, so it’ s been a lot in the last 11 months.
The kids are really oblivious and truthfully they keep my mind preoccupied. I’m glad I’m not home all day by myself dwelling on this. They have been a blessing coming up and giving random hugs and kisses, asking me to help them draw or work on art projects and crafts. Jonah understands the severity of this but has not asked many questions. To them, I look and seem ok, and therefore, I am ok. Thus, the minds of children are quite black or white. They see that I “physically ” look fine on the outside.
I know the Lord has a plan in all of this. I have never questioned His goodness. Going through something like this always begs the question that I think He asks of me, ” Will you still love me if….” . I do still love the Lord even if I don’t understand how this could be happening.
I have spoken to a friend in Seattle who is currently undergoing chemo and radiation. She has the same breast cancer diagnosis I have and she was very helpful. She didn’t start out with the kind of weakened immune system that I had. It may be the best option but now that I have it in my lymph node I’m not sure if I fall under a different cancer protocol. My oncologist in Elizabethtown called me and grieved with me on the phone. I’ve yet to meet a more warm, motherly doctor who spent time on the phone expressing her sorrows for me. I really think she had my back and was rooting for me . She knew I wanted to approach this holistically and she never gave me a hard time. She supported my decisions and I never got the “I told you…. ” from her. I am grateful for that. She knew I had two friends who lost this battle fighting the conventional way and she agreed with me that there are no absolutes when it comes to cancer. She did say she will help me figure out some viable options.
I’m not sure what I’ll need but I will let you know as we figure it all out.
Love , Allison